For What‽

The Kansas City Chiefs have traded Tony Gonzales, the best tight end in the business, to the Atlanta Falcons Tony Gonzalez for a draft pick next year. A second-round draft pick.

On Tuesday, the Chefs signed unrestricted free-agent TE Sean Ryan, and announced they have waived OT Andrew Carnahan, LB Curtis Gatewood and WR Kevin Robinson.

In related news, it would appear that new Chefs general manager Scott Pioli has apparently traded mascot KC Wolf for a couple of brats, and the entire cheer squad for "a really cool grill".

"This was a bad move by the Chiefs," says ESPN.com's Bill Williamson, "And it was a move that makes it difficult to believe they will be improved in 2009 because of it."

The Chefs insisted they also improved their chances for success in 2009 by making the trade, but all I can say is "Great Googaly Moogaly."

UPDATE: Joe Posnanski says it all:

And when the Chiefs announced the deal Thursday, I just kept thinking back to the way he would tuck away the ball every time he caught it. It's the simplest thing, the most basic fundamental, but I've never seen anyone else do it every time the way Gonzalez does. Through good and bad, through wins and too many losses, through contract squabbles and record-breaking days, he always tucked the ball away.

There really isn't much more you can ask of a man.

Madden Retires

John Madden is retiring. Yea!

He will be replaced by Cris Collinsworth. No!

Actually, I should be nice. Madden needed to retire more than Bret Favre, but he certainly brought a lot to the game. I do not question or claim his knowledge of the game or his insight. Honestly, I learned a lot about football from Madden.

This fall will be the first time since Madden's freshman year of high school that he won't be involved in football as a player, coach or analyst. That was, apparently, in the Mesozoic.

Unfortunately, in recent years, it seems harder and harder to watch him. There has been a lot more wandering, meandering, non-sensical ramblings, and less actually paying attention to the game.

Robert Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television and Popular Culture at Syracuse University says this: "I would not call John the most articulate or analytical mind, but he brought to a football broadcast knowledge and fun that worked even if you didn't care about the game. He was a vaudevillian in the booth."

Not to mention the ridiculous food, or the turducken, which gives me the heeby-jeebies.

As for his replacement, perhaps the least flamboyant wide-receiver in the NFL and the most bland color commentator in the business...

I will sure miss Madden.

That's Just Super!

Ah, Joe.

Here's the story: On April 26, 2003, the Kansas City Chiefs had the 16th pick in the NFL draft. The Chiefs had just finished one of the oddest seasons in the history of professional football. They had led the NFL in scoring — the whole NFL. They had scored 121 more points than the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who won the Super Bowl. They had scored more points than the Dallas Cowboys and Houston Texans combined. That’s not all. They had lost only two fumbles the whole season. That's an NFL record.

How many victories would you expect from a team that scores more points than any other team and loses just two fumbles? Well, the Chiefs did not win that many. They won eight games and lost eight games. No team has ever done so little with so much.

How did the Chiefs pull that off? Easy. They played terrible defense all year long. The Chiefs’ offense scored 38 in New England; the defense gave up 41. The offense scored 34 at San Diego; the defense gave up 35. The Chiefs lost 37-34 to Denver at home and 39-32 up in Seattle. There were no mysteries. The Chiefs had to improve that defense.

So there they were with the 16th pick in the NFL draft. And Chiefs general manager Carl Peterson and his coach Dick Vermeil looked closely at the board — and they simply did not see a defensive player worth taking in that spot. Not one. "I would have gone defense," Vermeil said afterward. "Yeah. But I understand the process."

So when the Pittsburgh Steelers called and said they wanted to trade up into the Chiefs' slot — the Steelers had the 29th pick overall — well, the Chiefs were thrilled. They could trade down and get a little bit extra for the effort. They happily made the trade. And with the Steelers' pick, they took running back Larry Johnson, who has had his great moments and his awful moments but, of course, does not play defense.

The Steelers, using the Chiefs' pick, selected Troy Polamalu, who might be the best defensive player in the NFL.

An Outpouring of Faith

There are some games where cheering for the other side feels better than winning.

Rick Reilly writes for ESPN, where he describes what is most likely the oddest game in high school football history, played last month down in Grapevine, Texas.

Grapevine Faith, with a record of 7-2 going into the game, played Gainesville State School, 0-8 with 2 touchdowns for the year.

But Gainesville is a maximum-security correctional facility 75 miles north of Dallas. Its kids have convictions for drugs, assault and robbery. Many of their families have disowned them, and football is one of the few outlets for these kids to be kids. Even at that, it is rough.

"We can tell people are a little afraid of us when we come to the games," says Gerald, a lineman who will wind up doing more than three years. "You can see it in their eyes. They're lookin' at us like we're criminals."

12 uniformed officers escort the 14 Gainesville players off the field. After the game, handcuffs ready in their back pockets, they line the players up in groups of five and march them to the team bus.

But Faith's head coach, Kris Hogan, wanted to do something kind for the Gainesville team. Faith has 70 kids, 11 coaches, the latest equipment and involved parents.

So Hogan had this idea. What if half of our fans—for one night only—cheered for the other team? He sent out an email asking the Faithful to do just that. "Here's the message I want you to send:" Hogan wrote. "You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth."

Some people were naturally confused. One Faith player walked into Hogan's office and asked, "Coach, why are we doing this?"

And Hogan said, "Imagine if you didn't have a home life. Imagine if everybody had pretty much given up on you. Now imagine what it would mean for hundreds of people to suddenly believe in you."

Next thing you know, the Gainesville Tornadoes were turning around on their bench to see something they never had before. Hundreds of fans. And actual cheerleaders!

After the game, both teams gathered in the middle of the field to pray. Gainesville's QB and middle linebacker Isaiah surprised everybody by asking to lead. "We had no idea what the kid was going to say," remembers Coach Hogan. But Isaiah said this: "L~rd, I don't know how this happened, so I don't know how to say thank You, but I never would've known there was so many people in the world that cared about us."

As the Tornadoes walked back to their bus under guard, they each were handed a bag for the ride home—a burger, some fries, a soda, some candy, a Bible and an encouraging letter from a Faith player.

Most importantly, they were given the gift of hope.

Gainesville coach Mark Williams saw Hogan, grabbed him hard by the shoulders and said, "You'll never know what your people did for these kids tonight. You'll never, ever know."

We Can Build on This

Over at ESPN, Bill Simmons ranked the Kansas City Chiefs 27 on his Power Poll with this:

Every Sunday, when something horrible happens with the Chiefs, I text my friend Mike Lombardi, "We can build on this!!!!!!!!" and he texts back, "Let's build something together!" It's our little running joke. Three reasons I'm telling you this: First, I think I've sent that text on eight Sundays this season (and none of them were forces; there was a legitimate reason each time). Second, I had never sent two "We can build on this!!!!!" texts in the same game until Week 15's ubercollapse against San Diego. And third, usually the only variation of the joke is the number of exclamation points … but after watching Herm Edwards' team blow two timeouts with an 11-point lead, give up a score, blow the onside kick, give up the go-ahead TD, drive back to field-goal range before running out of timeouts and then hook the potential game-winning field goal in the blink of an eye, I actually changed my second text to, "For G~d's sake, we can build on this!!!!!!"

I thought it demanded a little improvisation. I hope Edwards doesn't mind. But then I realized something: There was a lesson there. See, we can build on this. Whether it's football, the "we can build on this" joke or anything else, we can always build on this. I'm starting to think Edwards is a genius.

The average sports fan from outside this area does not know Joe Posnanski, columnist for The Kansas City Star, but among his sportswriting peers, he’s considered among the very best, and he represents one of two* reasons to read the former home of Hemingway.

His piece on the most humiliating loss in Chiefs' history is delicious: Ready, Aim -- Fire Everybody.

OK, I'm convinced now. Fire everybody. Fire Carl. Fire Herm. Fire Gunther. Fire the players. After that game, there's really nothing to say but: Fire them all. And they should not stop there. The Chiefs should hire Greg Robinson back just so they can fire him again. They should call John Mackovic just to remind him that he got fired. They should bring in Donald Trump to walk through Arrowhead's coaches offices and the locker room, just so everyone will fully understand what's going on.

Everyone who would care knows that I've been holding out on the firing thing — holding out because I like Chiefs coach Herm Edwards, holding out because Gunther Cunningham has always been one of my favorite people, holding out because, even though I've written that Carl Peterson should be replaced, I do appreciate what he did for the Chiefs his first decade. And anyway, we are talking about real people with real families and real feelings; it's a harsh thing to write in the newspaper that someone should lose their job, especially in times like these.

But ... really, what else is there to say after the Chiefs' utterly remarkable 22-21 loss to San Diego on Sunday at Arrowhead. I tried to come up with some positive thoughts about the game, even wrote them down, but as I look at the list now, it doesn't seem especially impressive.

...And the truth is that, after that sort of mind-shattering collapse, it's hard to come up with a single good reason why anybody involved with the Chiefs should be back next season. Sure, everyone knew that this year would be trying, that there would be more losses than wins, that young players would make lots of mistakes. But there was no way to see this mess coming.

Then there is his much calmer, more clear-headed article on the actual dismissal of CEO, president, and General Manager Carl Peterson by owner Clark Hunt:

Monday, Clark Hunt announced that Carl Peterson had resigned as president, general manager and CEO of the Kansas City Chiefs. Yes, that's what the honking horns and fireworks were all about. Yes, that's why you saw complete strangers kissing on every street corner.

It's a shame that it ends this way for Peterson, who will finish off his era in two weeks, closing out 20 years. As you might imagine, I was designated as the person to say something nice about Carl, and I will point to the first nine years. They were pretty great. The Chiefs went to the playoffs seven times, and they reached the AFC championship game once, and fans poured into Arrowhead Stadium. Carl changed the landscape of this city. He hired Marty Schottenheimer as coach, he opened up the parking lot for the best tailgate scene in professional sports, he got Joe Montana and Marcus Allen, and he drafted Derrick Thomas and Will Shields and Tony Gonzalez. And that's a lot of good.

Of course, the last 11 years have not been so good — two playoff appearances, six losing seasons, four head coaches, perpetually awful defenses, zero playoff victories, shaky drafts — and that's why in many ways Monday was not really about Carl Peterson. His time was running out. No, Monday was about Clark Hunt.

Either way, you need to get some Joe.

*The second reason is that you found it on a bench where you have a long wait and a creepy person with uneven eyes staring at you while playing an imaginary banjo. At least, those are the only two I can think of.

Woo-hoo!

Celebrate, celebrate, dance to the music.

For All the Chiefs Fans

Stupid Fans.

Great Googaly Moogaly

The Chiefs have a bye week, which is just about the only thing which could keep them from humiliating themselves some more.