don't mess with mother-in-law

A desperate husband tried to kill his mother-in-law with an anti-tank missile launcher after claiming she'd turned his wife against him. When his mother-in-law survived the rocket attack on her home, he tried to finish her off with a machine gun.

Bosnian Miroslav Miljici wanted revenge after blaming his wife's mum for the break-up of his marriage.

Miljici told the court he could no longer take his mother-in-law's nagging, but was jailed for six years for attempted murder, anyway.

His mother-in-law survived both attacks with barely a scratch.

Sud Smugglers

Otherwise law-abiding people in Spokane, Wash., are turning into dishwater-detergent smugglers.

Spokane County became the launch pad last July for the nation's strictest ban on dishwasher detergent made with phosphates, a measure aimed at reducing water pollution. Unfortunately, the eco-friendly detergent varieties required under Washington state law simply do not work as well.

Many people were shocked to find that products like Seventh Generation, Ecover and Trader Joe's left their dishes encrusted with food, smeared with grease and too gross to use without rewashing them by hand.

The main cleaning agent in many detergents and household cleaners is the phosphates which break down grease and remove stains. This, boys, is why washing dishes without soap is not, actually, washing dishes.

The bad news is that the chemicals are difficult to remove in wastewater treatment plants and often wind up in rivers and lakes, where they promote the growth of algae which consume the oxygen in the water that fish need to survive.

Phosphates have been banned in laundry detergent nationally since 1993. This led to a surge in detergent additives and harsher wash cycles, but you can't beat the dishes harder, simply because your dish soap lacks phosphates.

Nevertheless, environmental protection legislation marches on, relentlessly. Washington was the first state where the Legislature passed a ban against dishwasher detergents, in 2006, but others are following. The Washington ban is being phased in, starting with Spokane County.

While traditional detergents are up to 9 percent phosphate, those sold in Spokane County can contain no more than 0.5 percent. The industry has been working to develop better low-phosphate detergents, said Dennis Griesing, vice president of the Soap and Detergent Association, which represents manufacturers.

However, the problem is hard water, which is mineral-rich and resistant to soap. It renders the current low-phosphate detergents next to worthless, leading many Spokane residents to shop somewhat farther afield.

"I'm not hearing a lot of positive feedback," conceded Shannon Brattebo (pictured), secretary of the Washington Lake Protection Association, a prime mover of the ban. "I think people are driving to Idaho."

Steve Marcy, manager of the Costco in Coeur d'Alene, about 10 miles east of the Washington state line, estimated that sales of dishwasher detergent in his store have increased 10 percent.

"I'll joke with them and ask if they are from Spokane," said Marcy, who knows where the customers are coming from. "They say, 'Oh yeah.'"

The ban applies to the sale of phosphate detergent — not its use or possession — so the good Washingtonians who are smuggling in soap do not risk jail time.

Still, perhaps it is time to admit, you cannot legislate an overdue Apocalypse.

Lucky You Were Open

This is an Israeli McDonalds commercial.

Passover Tequila Story

Now observant Jews can have their own Tequila story.

Welcome to Spring

Spring has sprung, and its first day dropped a lot of snow on Kansas. So much, in fact, that the roof over a Hutchinson school's cafeteria has collapsed under the weight of at least 6 feet of snow.

Fire Chief Mike Patterson said snow drifted from the higher roof atop the school's gym onto the cafeteria roof, causing it to buckle under the load of snow. About a 30-by-50-foot portion of the roof collapsed into the cafeteria. If the roof collapse had happened during school hours, Patterson said, the situation "could have been tragic."

Several other roofs collapsed in that area, though we only lost the budding tree branches around here.

Must be this global warming thing we've heard so much about.

We Want the Apocalypse

The world has waited long enough; Apocalypse must come before the remake of "The Three Stooges".

The remake will be produced by the creators of such comedy classics as Osmosis Jones, Me, Myself & Irene, and Kingpin, not to mention Say It Isn't So.

Sean Penn is set to play Larry and Benicio Del Toro is being considered to play Moe. Jim Carrey is in negotiations to play Curly; he plans to gain 40 pounds, but we have not heard if he plans to die during filming, as Curly and Shemp Howard did. Larry Fine also suffered a stroke while filming. Maybe the remake will die early, too.

There is no word, yet, on who will play fake Shemp.

Listen, if two out of three Stooges couldn't make it work, what makes the Farrelly brothers think they have a chance?

Creme That Egg!

Interesting Posters from Africa

AllPosters.com actually has some very interesting posters from the land I grew up in.

Congo - Panoramic Map

Close-up of Details on Colorful Currency with Lettering from Zaire

Victoria Falls - Zimbabwe

Of Box Sets and Realpolitik

You know what sucks? Flying all the way to Washington for a high-profile meeting with the U.S. president only to get the cold shoulder. You know what's worse? Getting him a rare and thoughtful gift and getting a bunch of DVDs in return. You know what's even worse than that? Not even being able to watch the DVDs.

The Telegraph reports:

While not exactly a film buff, Gordon Brown was touched when Barack Obama gave him a set of 25 classic American movies – including Psycho, starring Anthony Perkins on his recent visit to Washington.

Alas, when the PM settled down to begin watching them the other night, he found there was a problem.

The films only worked in DVD players made in North America and the words "wrong region" came up on his screen. Although he mournfully had to put the popcorn away, he is unlikely to jeopardise the special relationship – or "special partnership", as we are now supposed to call it – by registering a complaint.

...A White House spokesman sniggered when I put the story to him and he was still looking into the matter when my deadline came last night.

Talk About a Bad Day

Mama never said there would be days like this.

Filer, Idaho, emergency crews rescued an an unidentified man who thought he lost his keys in the toilet of a U.S. Highway 30 rest area, climbed in to find them, and got stuck.

Filer police, Filer Fire Department, Filer Quick Response and a paramedic from St. Luke's Magic Valley Medical Center responded to a 911 call by another driver that stopped and found the situation. Filer Police Chief Cliff Johnson tells the story.

Thinking his keys had fallen in the tank, the man removed a round plastic cover at the base of the toilet and climbed in to find them. Once inside he was unable to pull himself out, and waited until someone else arrived. At least 10 emergency response personnel responded to the 911 call and eventually got the man out through an access hole used to pump the waste out of the tank.

It was while the man - who chose not to give his name, for obvious reasons - was washing off with the fire truck hose when he made another painful discovery.

The keys were still in his back pocket.